5 reasons NOT to do a hypnobirthing course

Hypnobirthing has had some pretty fantastic press coverage recently, appearing on the front page of The Guardian, on The Daily Mail, Radio 5 Live and LBC, anyone would think it was becoming acceptable!

No matter how many amazing things you hear/ read/ see in those blissful YouTube videos, take caution- is this something you really want to get involved in?! Here are 5 reasons to leave well alone…

  1. You’re not pregnant, and never intend to have children. I mean you’ll meet some nice people, and you’ll learn some life skills, but gosh do they go on about birth…I’ll be honest, you would probably feel it was a bit of a waste of money.
  2. You are pregnant, and enjoy living in a state of anxiety. The logistical challenges keep coming- what will you do about work? Finances? Decorating? Feeding? HAVE YOU BOUGHT ENOUGH VESTS?! And people keep telling you how awful birth will be, how powerless you are to do anything about it- and you just love to soak it up. Who wants to sleep, or eat, or feel good about baby’s arrival? Not you. Steer clear- that hypnobirthing course would have you all chilled out and feeling in control. Ugh.
  3. You crave unnecessary medical intervention. You just love it. I’m not talking about life saving stuff. Ideally you will have everything going, and look back and think it wasn’t needed- that’s the plan. Those hypnobirthers will tell you it’s sometimes the best choice, that we each face different circumstances and have more or less luck, but they’ll also bother you with WHO recommendations, and the most up to date research covering the risks of such interventions, to balance with the benefits. You don’t want to hear that, right? Never mind the impact on you and your baby.
  4. You are looking forward to your partner’s complete bewilderment during labour, you want to feel isolated, and seize the opportunity to swear at him/ punch him in the face. How could he possibly be of assistance?! Best not to get him involved, and then you can let him know how useless he was for the rest of your lives. Don’t even let him hear the word ‘hypnobirthing’- otherwise he might realise he could have a clear role to play, he could understand the situation, get himself equipped with amazing tools and techniques so that you work as a team, bonding you more tightly than ever. No thanks.
  5. You would like some support, but you will only consider hippie nonsense. Who needs logic when you can pray to The Vagina Goddess and hope for the best?! Those hypnobirthing courses are always spouting physiological processes and rational analysis of the available evidence. AVOID.

So there you have it- you’ve been warned.

#justkidding #hypnobirthing #hypnobirthingworks  #hypnobirthsforeveryone #didigotoofar?

www.hypnobirthdays.com

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