Today we have one seriously multi tasking mother…As a multi passionate woman myself, it’s fricking fabulous to read about someone spinning so many plates. The wonderful Beccy Mae-Rose Founder of RED Matchmaking Ltd, Love Summit and Co-Founder of Mum Means Business. You can find her links at the bottom of the interview.
Tell us about what you do – your mothering situation and your work outside of that.
First and foremost I am Mum to two of my favorite people on this earth. Hannah is 10 and Olivia is 9 so yes I was pregnant forever, or at least it felt that way at the time! I became a single Mum when they were tiny, just nearly 3 and 17 months old and my business has always been built around my girls. I find that the flexibility of being my own boss allows me to take the time I need to be full out there for them. While they lived with me for the first 6 years they now live with their Dad and spend 4 consecutive nights a fortnight with me, it’s not the life I would have chosen as a Mum but it’s where we are and I am always one to make the best of any situation.
Having 10 straight days to focus on my businesses has certainly allowed me the time to make a greater impact. My core business is as a matchmaker where I get to know my private clients exceptionally well and then head hunt for matches and arrange dates for them. We work together closely so that my client becomes the very best version of their selves which in turn allows them the quiet confidence to be able to match with their best chance of lasting love. I have a team who help with this from an incredible stylist too an outstanding dating counselor, of course, we have a super talented photographer and makeup artist, our beauty and wellbeing expert Courtney Smith is an angel and really helps to relax clients….and me!
Love is such a huge passion of mine and I have always believed that it is more than romantic, it can change your life. When people learn to truly love their selves just as they are everything shifts when people pour love into their relationships they also thrive and business that is done from a people first or heart-centered space isn’t fluffy, woo-woo or just for charities, it is sustainable and good business sense. The Love Summit has been created to have one day focusing on this and it is a bit like my business baby, I love the bones of it!
Mum Means Business has the most wonderful story and example of heart-centered business, collaboration, and support. Leah, Lucy and I have created a space both online and face-to-face where women can be truly supported in business. We have networking events with onsite childcare, online courses, and community that help women to grow their businesses and we are here to help women shine full out in business and life.
What kind of work did you do before having children?
Would you believe that once upon a time before I had my children I was a management accountant in the City? It all seems like such a lifetime ago when I used to get the train each day and work with numbers, not people. At the time I loved it though and I always worked for entrepreneurial companies from private hospitals Head office in Rochford and then the UK’s first ever Prepaid Mastercard company. I was their 11th ever employee and both the first and the second to go on maternity leave…..I literally hid behind my hands when telling my boss about the second pregnancy.
How did you get into your current work?
I became a matchmaker after having what can only be described as an epiphany one sunny Saturday in London. I had set up as a motivational speaker and business coach and it was going brilliantly. I loved my life, children, business and I was managing to ace a degree….no small feat for a dyslexic but I was still single some 5 years after my marriage broke down. Not only that I had experienced some frankly awful, even scary and dangerous dates. So I did what any proactive woman would, I set out to learn from the best. For me, that is Paul C Brunson, a matchmaker from Washington DC. As he stood there training us 70-80 awesome women how to find true love I realised like a bolt from the universe: I needed to be a matchmaker.
What drives you?
What drives me to be a matchmaker is the wholehearted belief that if we all had more self-love then we would find healthier matches. Healthier matches are even more than happy couples, its families that stand the test of time. Children with 2 parents, not that single parents aren’t awesome because they are but it is healthier and easier with 2 parents and that begins with finding the right match. I truly believe that healthy & happy couples make healthy &happy families which then make stronger communities……basically I want to save the world one happy couple at a time as crazy as that might sound!
What is your biggest challenge in making it all work?
The biggest challenge of making it all work, really, opening my heart and soul….fear of success. I am the first to shoot for the stars but I will often inadvertently sabotage myself because deep down I had a fear of success. I want to do this for everyone else, for the greater impact to the people I can and do help but that whole “I am not worthy” stuff rears its ugly head. It is something I have coaching to get me past as a fundamentally believe that every one of us in a unique miracle and deserves everything your heart desires….I’m just better at getting it for others than I have been for myself. Yikes, I feel super vulnerable being so honest about that one!
What are you most proud of?
Other than my children as the will always be who I’m most proud. Without a doubt, I am most proud of the teams that I work with. I am blessed to work with extremely talented people from the events manager Linda Elsdon who has worked with me for years now, to Lucy Davidson and Leah Layzell who have co-founded Mums Mean Business through to the incredible speakers that I have been lucky enough to work with, speak alongside and the crews, sponsors and exhibitors at the events I host…..so very many incredibly talented and hard-working people. If ever I am having a tough day I always stop and have a moment of total gratitude for the people I get to work with and who support me to be and do all that I do….I just couldn’t do it without them.
Where will your work take you in the future? What are your plans?
In the future, I am powering through my fear of success and have nearly finished my first book which is about values, how people can define or decide their core values and build a healthy life from there. However the underlying and almost core theme it is more about relationships, the impact of toxic relationships and our ability to move on to healthy relationships and break that cycle. It is the book I wish I had been given as a teenager or again as a divorcee and shows how to rebuild yourself after any toxic relationship. I have recently been interviewed on Sky TV about the Mother-daughter relationship and how to repair after a toxic relationship….super scary but such an honor to have been invited.
What would you say to yourself as a brand new mum?
If I were to speak to me as a brand new Mum I would say “You aren’t perfect, nor do you have to be. Ask for help, stamp your feet and demand help as you do not have to and please never try to do it all on your own. You ARE loved and those who love you want to help you; just darn well swallow your pride and allow them to help you”…..P.S. if you made babies that beautiful surely you can finally see how stunning you are too.
Self care- what do you do to fill your cup?
Reading is my go-to self-care, especially a good self-development or psychology book. There is something about snuggling up and reading a book, preferably from cover to cover if it’s a short one. I need to do that at least once a month. Otherwise finding the time to read a few pages every day. Exercises is also an essential for me, be it jogging slow but long distances or heading to the Gym for a half hour killer HIT class I am a nicer, kinder and vastly more chilled person if I read and exercise.
Find Your Love RED Matchmaking is committed to supporting singles in finding lasting love. Matchmaking is a world away from internet dating. We meet all members personally, complete background checks and work with you as an individual to find your ideal partner. Our service is discreet, professional and secure.
Do It Like A Mother provides kick ass hypnobirthing and pregnancy relaxation in Southend and Upminster. Our Motherhood Mindset Mentoring course runs online, and we support mothers in business (or those who want to be) in our facebook group (click here). Brand new Ts and Sweaters in the shop now #doitlikeamother